Category Archives: Music

Born This Way

Earlier this week, Chad asked my opinion on how to respond to someone via email.

Without getting into details, he was struggling with a response, while I told him to ignore it and delete it. At this point, Scarlett piped up.

“Mom, dad’s acting with integrity right now and you’re not.”

For real.

My own kid took me down several notches. She was right, too.

Yesterday, at Scarlett’s school assembly she was presented with an award by her teacher for showing integrity, after her class performed Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”. She introduced the performance with another little guy from her class. She said that integrity means being yourself and not doing what other friends try and tell you. Make your own decisions.

Kudos to her amazing teacher for ingraining this message into these kids at such a young age. I hope that Scarlett continues to embrace her own integrity, and respects and loves people for who they are.

I’d like to think that Chad and I taught her to have integrity, but seriously, I think she was born this way.

Here’s her performance (apologies for the crappy Flip camera quality. Scarlett’s the redhead with the blue dress and the white sweater):

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A Great Mad Men Mashup

I love it when clever people do clever things. Watch this–it’s good.

Thanks for finding this, Miles!

kp

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Autumn Leaves

With Thanksgiving over, it officially feels like fall in Ontario. The sidewalks are covered in colourful and crunchy leaves, we’re waking up in darkness, and the air is crisp. It’s a season that I truly love.

I was really hoping that my mom would be able to come out and spend some time with us this fall, but I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that it’s just not going to happen. She’s still really weak, and although every day is an improvement, she’s in no shape to travel–not to mention the fact that she can’t fly for a while following a lung collapse, thanks to air pressure.

Maybe next fall.

In the meantime, I can’t get this song out of my head.

kp

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Filed under Family, Music

Working on the chain gang

When Scarlett was born, she was jaundiced, which meant we had to stay at Mount Sinai for far too many days while she screamed under the lights.

While my name was on the list for a private room (and I did eventually get one the last night we were there), I spent my entire stay with a series of moms and babies, each of whom was dumber than the last. I’m talking about the moms, but I do wonder how those kids are faring in SK. Seriously.

The worst was a mom who had a giant entourage that spent her entire stay eating Burger King and sounding like extras from Jersey Shore. While Chad and I tried to get some sleep, we were forced to listen to some of the most inane conversations I’ve ever been privy to. To wit:

“Did you hear Tony was arrested?”

“No way. Where’d you hear that?”

“From Marie. She heard it from Pauly, who heard it from Angela, who heard it from Donnie who heard it from Ronnie.”

“For real? You really heard that through the grapevine.”

“I know. It’s kind of like the song: ‘That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gang.’”

It took everything within me not to suffocate myself with a pillow.

Today, I was transported back in time to Toronto, circa May 2005 when my mom’s ‘quad’ room, which was sitting at ‘duo’ capacity (remember Olga? She asked me to change her bedpan today) got a third.

Warning bell number one: the nursing staff had to remove the fourth bed to accommodate her guests.

Warning bell number two: her guests consisted of no fewer than 20 men, women and children, each of whom had either a hacking cough, runny nose, PigPen-style cigarette haze, silkscreened shirt with a wolf on it or any combination of the above.

Warning bell number three: this snippet of conversation—“The model had a gun instead of a leg, and she lifted it and shot at the audience.”

Despite pulling the paper thin curtain around my mom’s bed to hide our eyerolls and rage, it didn’t really help. I think my mom was serious when she said she didn’t need the biopsy and would be fine to go home.

The minute I saw the nurse, I grabbed her, pointed at the par-tay in the next bed and said: “This sucks.”

How was my mom, who is going to get her deflated lung cut into tomorrow supposed to get a wink of sleep tonight with Annie Oakely and her gun-limbed fan club?

The nurse said she was on it. She knows, without a doubt, that any patient stuck sharing a room with this crew would request euthanasia, so she was sussing out a private room for them. Not fair (i.e. my mom should get a private room as she’s a model patient), but I understand.

Less than an hour later, all that was left was a film of Cheeto dust and an Eau Du Craven A.

Since then, no fewer than 10 ADDITIONAL guests have stopped by looking for Granny.

The good news is that our grumbling about this freakish family was able to replace our worry about tomorrow’s surgery. Thanks, morons!

The biopsy is scheduled for tomorrow at 2:00 Saskatoon time. I’ll update when I can.

And now, for your listening pleasure…

kp

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Filed under cancer, Family, Music, Parenting, Rant, Uncategorized

The blog in which I am visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past*

Metro

Metro's 11 Days From Christmas

This evening I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. He smelled like garlic, wore rubber boots and was eating a big bowl of borscht. His name was Metro.

In preparing for the holidays, my husband was struck with the genius idea of trying to track down a Christmas album that both of us listened to in our respective homes as kids. Every year, my dad would fire up the record player or the 8-Track (if we were in the car–we had two copies), and we’d laugh our asses off over the hilarious holiday-themed comedy stylings of Metro, the crazy Ukranian comedian. He’s basically the Weird Al of the elderly western-Canadian Ukranian set.

Tonight, we tracked down the classic 11 Days From Christmas album on iTunes, and it shot me straight back into the 1970s. And true to her roots, my 4 year old danced like crazy as soon as the music started. How can you not do your best polka to lyrics like “…nine months pregnant, eight all my supper, seven four-by-two slabs, six overalls, five golden rings of kobassa…”?

I just did a bit of  research and found out that not only is Metro still alive, he’s still touring.

Must be all that garlic.

kp

 *Warning: this post will not be relevant to you if you are not Ukranian or are not from a prairie province.

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Filed under Family, Music

Sing It, Sister

Three words, Rock Band: Crazy On You

Three words, Rock Band: Crazy On You

I’m going to preface this post by saying that I know I’ve written a lot about Rock Band lately, but stick with me here. Why is it that there are so few songs by female singers in the game? Even when you factor in the extra tracks you can buy in the Rock Band store, the percentage of female to male singers is ridiculously low. There’s one song by Joan Jett, two by Blondie and two by Pat Benetar, but about five by Jimmy Buffett. What is there beyond “Margaritaville”?

Rock Band peeps, listen up: I’m more than willing to sing AC/DC and David Bowie and Bon Jovi, but don’t ignore your female audience. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Heart. “Barracuda”, “Crazy On You” and “Magic Man” are no brainers. They should be in the game already.
  • Annie Lennox. I’d be happy with either her solo stuff or her stuff from The Eurythmics.
  • Tina Turner. Another no brainer.
  • Cher. I’d settle for “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” and “Half Breed”.
  • The GoGo’s. The entire catalogue.
  • Fleetwod Mac. Yes, there are a few songs available, but this number should be upped. Ditto for The Pretenders.
  • Beyonce. All I really ask for is “Single Ladies”.
  • Kate Bush. Can you even imagine how hard it would be to get 100% on “Wuthering Heights”?
  • Pink. Another no brainer.
  • Bonnie Tyler. Okay, only “Total Eclipse of the Heart”.
  • Gwen Stefani. There’s already some No Doubt content, but not nearly enough.

Who am I missing?

kp

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Here Comes Science to Save a Parent’s Sanity

Here Comes Science to Save Parents Sanity

Here Comes Science to Save a Parent's Sanity

Good news for parents! A new kid-centric CD is slated to come out on September 1st, and by the look (and sound) of it, it won’t drive you insane when listening to it. Like their previous kid-friendly CDs “Here Come the 123s” and “Here Come the ABCs“, They Might Be Giants is releasing “Here Comes Science“, which looks to be packed with kitchy/educational tunes. These CDs are a great alternative for the parent struggling with Wiggles fatigue. Trust me on this one.

Here’s a video for one of my favourite songs from “Here Come the 123s”. If I ever win the lottery, this is going to be my theme song.

Thanks for the tip-off, @frostola!

kp

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