My Girl

 

Six years ago tonight, I hadn’t yet met my daughter.

At this point, I had been ready to go for about 40 hours, had two (yes, two) epidurals, my water broken, an internal monitor attached to my baby’s head and about 10 different nurses, who literally would look after me for a shift, go home to sleep and come back the next day to find me in the same place. I’m sure it wasn’t the world’s longest labour, but it sure felt like it.

After a total of 49 hours, my beautiful baby was born.

I will never forget the moment I first looked into her eyes. I had this clear, powerful thought: “I know you.”

I did.

Throughout my pregnancy, Scarlett and I would chat. She’d give me a good kick in my side, and I’d poke her back. Every morning before I got out of bed we poked each other back and forth, and it was one of my favourite parts of my pregnancy.

So when I looked at my precious little girl for the very first time, it felt like a reunion and a revelation all at once. And the most powerful surge of pure love I’ve ever felt.

Yep. She was mine.

Every day since I’ve been humbled and amazed that this is my kid.

She has the best parts of Chad and the best parts of me and a whole bunch of parts that are way better than both of us. She’s smart, beautiful, funny as hell, caring, loving, insightful, and someone I’d want to hang around with even if I wasn’t her mom.

Tomorrow my baby turns six. Six is scary to me. It means Grade One and recess with the big kids. But it also means even better conversations and a clearer glimpse in to the personality that is so wonderfully developing.

Tonight, as she was getting ready for bed she expressed some concern with turning six. How could she be sure that it was going to be as great as being five? And how sad is it that she will never, ever be five again? I’m pretty sure I didn’t have such clear thoughts as a five year old. Or as a thirty year old.

So happy birthday, my beautiful, wonderful girl. John Lennon said it best when he wrote: “Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better.”

 

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